Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
