Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize