His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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