I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
