Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
