Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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