Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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