so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
