its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
