College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
so much tequila, so little girl.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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