so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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