Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
