i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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