dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
