Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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