Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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