I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize