i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
