I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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