just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
