So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
