Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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