Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
