Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
