did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
