god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Alive.
So much puke
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
