Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
