tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hippo gnu deer
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
