And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
