Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
