Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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