i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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