Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He passed out mid-signature
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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