My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
