As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
