Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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