He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
