just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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