and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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