So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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