Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
