Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
