I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
