I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
