dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
