and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
