Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
