Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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