If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
