Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
