All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
