I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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