I can tuck mytits in my pants
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
