her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
