i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
