you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
