Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
