my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
