Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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