i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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